Getting the Ball Rolling - Wedding Dress Stop Light & The Pick A Damn Date Stop Sign!

Good evening folks,

So far so good, the usual speed bumps, stops signs, and stop lights on the wedding trail have been normal. From the "I cant fit my dress" speed bump, to the "I know when I want to get married but I don't have a clue what day nor have I booked a venue"

I am the "SINGLE" Maid of Honor!

I'm not dating anyone, but I do have back up plans... Such as, plan S, plan J, plan V, and plan D (and whomever else may come along) lol.

Anyways... The "Single" Maid of Honor is slowly becoming extinct. Especially because its July so most of us are working on getting into a relationship (or bunned up and the kids would say) for the winter. We are horny, and foul mouthed and just plain ole nonchalant. Typically we plan to hook up with the "Single" Best man. Because even if we don't like each other, we will still probably end up fucking each other. (so beware)



Now, as far as traveling down the trail of getting the bride (bitch) hitched, we are moving at an alarmingly slow rate.... for friend J anyway. She gets married in March of 2016 and we still have yet to have an engagement party or bridal shower. Nor have I tried on my dress, but we have concrete plans about the delivery of her wedding dress. Even though she can not fit into it and she wants to buy a new one. "Why a new dress?",  you ask... Well, my beautiful "Self Irritated" Bride to Be has taken it upon herself to ask her future husband what type of dress does he envision her in on their wedding day. Well he told her, and so we've hit the "Wedding Dress" stop light.

This is when your Self Irritated Bride to Be has her first real conniption. I hope and pray she finds the dress! 

And as far as friend C, well, currently she knows her venue but she just needs to pick a damn date! And, well that's about it. She's going to try on dresses soon, but I know, I am going to get so fucking drunk, because there will be hell unlike any other during the Wedding Dress Stop Light. Friend C, has stated on various occasions that she has an opinionated bunch that will be in the wedding party. Which simply translates to any event personnel as, a pushy group of bitches. Sorry to say it but its true. In this group you find out how women can be some of the most sensitive, caring, spiteful, rude, and fucking ridiculous mammals on the planet. But just like any other proud Maid of Honor, I shall absorb the hits of these "wrecking balls" in honor of my dearest Brides to Be.